Whilst meditating recently, using this darkness meditative technique from the Book of Secrets, the following came to me:
For something to happen, there must be nothing first.
More insight came in that moment, but the above words capture the essence of that experience. The irony was that moments before I was bored and I really wanted to finish the meditation early but often the jewels can appear when boredom arises and the desire to stop is strong. Instead, I stayed with the boredom waiting for the next moment. I am glad I did.
In the next moment, I felt nothingness as I sat in the darkness with open eyes, allowing the darkness to move through me. I saw that the very early morning light began to appear through the crack of my bedroom blind, I experienced it, saw it, the moment of creativity.
I understood on an experiential level that light fills darkness. That darkness, nothingness exists and out of that, something arises and fills up the darkness. But always, there behind the light or the act of creation, is the darkness, the emptiness.
I share this because the day before I was listening to Osho radio. and someone asked a question to Osho that since they began meditating their creativity was dropping but they felt more alive and sensitive. I listened deeply because that has been my experience too. I used to write creatively with dreams of being a best selling author so that I could show the world that I am “somebody”. Thankfully between a mix of failing to sell a self-published novel, a series of rejections from publishers and agents plus a rising practice in meditation, that form of creativity dropped.
What changed is that for a while I stopped writing, painting and other forms of creativity. I meditated more and something inside of me changed. I slowly became creative in a different way. I became more present in cooking. I went with a certain flow that was not of me but came through me. I began creating for the sheer pleasure and noticed the times when my ego and desire to be somebody impacted the flow of creativity through me. When I was in a flow of creativity, the creative act became a source of pleasure for me and the outcome or what others thought was irrelevant.
So when Osho said to the questioner that the type of “normal” creativity we associate with is where we want to prove ourselves to the world, I got what he was saying.
Osho shared that creativity comes from existence. That when we are empty, it works through us and if you ever recognise this type of creativity, you know it when you see it. It has a quality, an essence that you cannot put your finger on. That type of creativity is not of the mind or the ego, it is a download from existence.